I sit and close my eyes here in this RV. I hear the Florida crickets chirping a lullaby just for me. Things I didn’t notice the past four months are more apparent than ever. These past couple of weeks have by far been the hardest. There have been a couple of days along this journey where I really just wanted to come home, but I knew I had more to learn here. And boy, I’m sure glad I stayed. Getting down to the final stretch I was thinking, I learned all I needed to, now let me GO! The despearte feeling of needing to leave crept up on me again, slowly but surely. Feeling groggy from a cold didn’t help, either. One minor detail I forgot: Learning never stops.
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose Wisely”. – KC
My spirits came back to life from the thought of seeing my parents soon. I picked them up from the airport yesterday morning. It was so nice to see them. It’s funny how things change even over a short period of a couple months, the little things that used to get under my skin I am now eternally grateful for. I’m so honored to have them as parents. As the day went on I was explaining how excited I was to get out of Florida and back to Michigan.
It wasn’t until this morning after stalls that I realized something very important… Being my last day to clean stalls I was feeling the rapid approach of my near departure. After a couple of stalls I stumbled upon the thought of why I was so anxious to leave. I jotted this train of thought into my notes:
There’s nothing in Florida that made your life any more or less difficult, it was all your mindset. You just didn’t like what those elements turned you into. You chose that, and now you choose to let it go and see the beauty in not only your experience, but yourself.
Every beautiful memory from this trip ran through my mind like a slide show. My vision was sharper than ever with every vibrant color and texture exposing it’s true perfection. Every noise turned into it’s own song. The breeze across my cheek and the steady grip I had surrounding the rake handle. The corners of my lips gradually shifting closer toward my ears into a smile. I was making one of those beautiful memories right in that very moment. The feeling of life. The feeling of connectedness. The feeling of acceptance. The feeling of faith. The feeling of God. The feeling of the Universe. The feeling of Heather.